5 Questions with Heidi Joy Delacruz
by Dwight Easter
This Month’s 5 Questions is Heidi Joy Delacruz. Through her art, she expresses her POV on evolution of self. Heidi can be seen performing comedy, making art, event planning, and serving up a fine cup of Joe. We speak about her process, courage, and the benefits of psychedelics.
DE- As a commentator, artist, and performer, what medium do you feel most creative expressing yourself in?
HJD- I find the medium of facilitating discussions and conversations in groups really fascinating. To host a space that encourages a safe environment to express and challenge perspectives with one another. What a unique way to see the world, with better understanding from another. We live in a society that stunts creativity and many are secretly desperate for artistic outlets, to exercise creative thinking and dreaming out loud. It is powerful to find infinite possibilities through enabling the perspective of validating our unique selves. The process of inspiring others through speaking our authentic truths - pains and joys- is such a vital catalyst in awaking each other’s inner artist. To ignite that freedom is the most creative exploration and experience of all.
DE- What internal conflict and past experiences have shaped you most as an artist?
HJD- What comes to mind most immediately is a theme I have always practiced: “deconstruct, reconstruct.” In the duality of bearing the name Heidi JOY, I have endured my own share of pain, grief, loss, and hopelessness. My art and truth stem from my tenacity to explore the raw, vulnerable hurt, to dissect limitations and boundaries that we create and were raised in. Learning to challenge those motifs to develop my own personal evolution and understanding. Like a moth, I am attracted to the flame of danger that is breaking through illusions. Especially if it means shattering false comforts. Deconstructing, breaking down - all initially feels destructive and our attachments create the pain to initially surrender. It’s through destruction that we are able to reconstruct something more beautiful, true, stronger, with intentional foundations. I moved a lot growing up, having to start over quite often. There’s a resiliency that’s built from a need to be adaptable, flexible, and hopeful. Being the first born of my family in the United States adds a cultural identity. I’ve had to learn, and it’s definitely shaped my experiences and perspective for my creations. In my performances as a comedian, I draw a lot of my material from the vulnerable, honest, and humorous struggles of feeling different my entire life. Art in all forms is such a powerful outlet to share your unique perspective. I’ve learned to stop feeling as if my experience is less valid or worthwhile to share. I’m curious and interested in understanding others on a deep level. I must be willing to share the same. Psychedelics are influential to my art; unlocking a vision to the connectivity and energy that exists is humbling, but very cool.
DE- Do you have any routines/rituals you practice before creating art and performance?
HJD- Physical art. I try to keep any materials for creating at hand. I create whenever I feel a random spark to make something or when I’m feeling something I can’t explain through words. I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to create in the past which just resulted in me bailing on making anything. Now it’s become way more free form. My physical art has been freed by my new love for improv comedy. Make art. Make it up. Even if no one will ever see it. It’s all practice. Life is just a constant process. I must center myself as a recovering perfectionist and control freak:
Heidi Joy, what you create is valid.
Do not compare yourself to other artists.
You have your own style because you are your own collection of experiences and perspectives.
Honor it the way you honor others. Just make something, please.
You owe it to yourself. There is someone out there who will be grateful you did. Even and especially if that’s only you.
Before performing, I also give myself a pep talk in honor of a conversation with one of my greatest mentors, Jason Kypros. I’d get super anxious before my first comedy shows -
me: “fuck. I’m so nervous, dude”
Kypros: “you’re nervous because it means you care. And you can transform nervous energy into excitement. You’re excited because you care. Have fun. Be yourself- and have fun!” And that really stuck with me.
I’m not opposed to smoking for some creative thinking space, and coffee is essential in my life.
DE- What would you like your social media footprint to say about you?
HJD- That I’m not perfect. I’m not trying to pretend I am. I am exploring the vulnerability of acceptance of my flaws, shortcomings, traumas, strengths, memories, creations, and joy. To embrace this experience as a chance to learn all that I can, in who I am. That whoever and wherever we are in our journey- we are worthy, valid, and enough to deserve love always. I hope to set an example of the strength in pursuit of self-love, to accept being misunderstood, to be committed to healing, and to activate others’ sense of capacity to do the same for themselves. Also, maybe I was pretty cool when I’m looked at as someone’s dope ancestor. Like “oh wow, our great, great, great grandmother was unmarried, skateboarding, braving new adventures, and living her best life when she was almost 30 and wouldn’t want us to settle for a false sense of comfort through normalcy.”
DE- What is the most crucial conversation we should have with ourselves and others?
HJD- What are the ways we can observe how we project hurt, blame, judgment on others to better understand ourselves? What do we do for others in good intent that we desperately need for ourselves? I want to empower conversations that dive into challenging our personal needs. To feel like we must do what others want for us, or what we think is best for others and begin to understand what WE WANT. We deny our realities and needs out of fear. I want to challenge you to think and believe in a reality centered on what you truly love as who you are. Stay true to you. Be relentless in your pursuit of self. Heal this world into a happier, better place by starting within. Sounds cheesy but fuck it’s true; it is brave & punk as fuck to be who you are in this world that demands conformity and “normalcy.” Be the example of the energy you seek in this world, embrace your own weirdness - especially when it’s hard. 🦋
About Dwight Easter: Digital folk artist, family man and bread merchant. Some of the best moments in my life are experiencing the power and influence of great art. I came up in the Norfolk era of the M80’s, Buttsteak, and Antic Hay.